Do's and Dont's of Central America So far..

Carrying on with the time-saving point form of my last post, this one will follow the same theme!

IN Central America

DO

-Say Bueno Dia to every. Single. Person. you pass.
-learn how to say No Thank you.
-Eat out locally. You are going to get sick no matter what.
-Watch out for scorpions.
    -and have friends crazy enough to pick them up.
-Stand far away from boys and their fireworks. A half dozen 'Osamas' ( I didn't name them..), a few dozen smaller ones, flour and ketchup all stuffed up a Santa pinatas behind really does BOOM.
    -Make sure you don't live in this hotel...Santas along with melon/eggs/and papayas make quite  a mess.
-enjoy the cheap booze!
-Learn Spanish! Even if it feels like a huge chore in your otherwise empty day.
-Expect the lake to get choppy the minute you get to the other side.
    -enjoy the kayak 'tubing' when a boat takes pity on your useless attempt the paddle.
        -expect your kayak to break while 'tubing'..
- Go to afterparties that include neon face paint and forget about it the next morning.
-Expect to look like you have a bad case of the chicken pox. Damn Mozzies.
-Laugh when your private shuttle runs out of fuel and the driver asks for gas money.
-Enjoy the view.


DON'T


-peer curiously into a chicken coop.. there may be a naked man inside.
-Take the first price on anything..even at a supermarket.
-Lock yourself out after swimming. Running bikini clad down the street is frowned upon.
-Order anything that claims to have ham. It is Spam. There is no disguising it.
-Mix up Spanish vocab and ask you teacher if you have a nice ass.
    -if that wasn't enough, make sure not to mix up one letter and boldly say you masturbated for supper instead of paid for supper.
-Listen to the locals, if you want, feed the sad street dogs.. give them a pet.. just wash your hands after!
-Touch your electric water heating shower head. Even if the water is cold it is not worth it!
-Deviate from the usual chicken fajita at Jakus. Nothing else beats it ( and its 2 dollar fifty price!)
-Drink moonshine everyday. I think you could actually go blind.

And There you have it.. my do's and don't's so far!